COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE AND FAMILY LAW IN FLORIDA. No matter how you look at it, divorce and family law matters are difficult to go through. Expectations of stability are shattered,
mistrust grows, and bills pile up. And then the litigation begins. Attorneys file and serve petitions, counterpetitions, requests to produce, and motions to compel. Each party hires dueling mental health experts to convince a judge that he or she should have more time with the children. Privacy is eliminated as each party’s life is probed and publicly questioned so that one side may gain a tactical advantage.
But there is a different way. A more civilized way. And it is called Collaborative Family Law (also known as Collaborative Divorce or Collaborative Practice).
We are a Collaborative law firm dedicated to helping people resolve personal disputes without destroying their families. We encourage the use of the Collaborative Family Law model in divorce, child custody, child support, alimony, post-judgment, prenuptial, and most other family law cases. Further, Adam B. Cordover is an internationally-recognized leader in Collaborative Practice, a trainer who teaches other professionals how to help families Collaboratively, and author of an upcoming American Bar Association book on Collaborative Law.
Collaborative divorce seems great in theory, but many people don’t quite understand how it works. This great video from the Crouch Group and Rhett Creative provides a fantastic explanation of how Collaborative Divorce works.
Divorce is tough. Your marriage is falling apart and the foundation upon which you thought you could depend is no longer there. Rather than fling yourself into the chaotic and adversarial divorce court system, you have alternatives. One structured alternative is Collaborative Divorce.
In Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse retain separate attorneys to guide you along the way. Unlike litigation lawyers, these attorneys’ only purpose is to help you reach an agreement as amicably and efficiently as possible. In fact, the process prohibits Collaborative Attorneys from engaging in contested court proceedings. Because of this, you do not have to worry about motion practice, depositions, or dirty trial tactics. You can just focus on reaching a resolution that is best for your future.
Here in Tampa Bay, a neutral Collaborative Facilitator usually aids you. The Facilitator has a specialty in communications, family dynamics, and childhood development. When you and your spouse seem to get stuck in the arguments of the past, the Facilitator will help get things back on track and focused on the future. Further, if you have children, the Facilitator will help you craft a parenting plan tailored to your children’s specific needs.
To ensure transparency, you may retain a neutral Financial Professional. The Financial Professional helps you and/or your spouse understand the extent of your estate. He or she will then help you develop options for best dividing it. He or she can also help you develop budgets so you know that you will have a financially sustainable future after divorce.
Every Collaborative Divorce is different. However, as a trainer, many of my students (who are lawyers, financial professionals, mental health professionals, mediators, and others) find it helpful to have a step-by-step guide to Collaborative Divorce. This is meant only as a sample. The more Collaborative Cases I am involved with, the more they deviate from this guide; in truth, just as there is no “typical” family, there is no “typical” Collaborative Divorce.
If you are going through divorce, you may have noticed that you are feeling and acting differently. You may have trouble sleeping, or your appetite might have changed. Perhaps the things that normally bring you joy, such as hanging out with friends, now just create anxiety or anger. Maybe you are having difficulty thinking clearly, and you are just paralyzed to make a decision.
If so, this is normal. You are going through divorce. You are going through a trauma.
As we are in the midst of another potential trauma, hurricane threats, perhaps now is a good time to explore how trauma affects us.
Collaborative Divorce, also know as Collaborative Family Law, Collaborative Practice, and the Collaborative Process, is a structured form of dispute resolution where you and your spouse/partner can reach agreements privately and amicably.
J. David Harper, who is a forensic accountant and Collaborative Financial Neutral in Tampa Bay, refers to the structure of Collaborative Divorce as the “Four D’s.” Harper writes in his article, Traits and Skills of a Highly Financial Neutral, published in Mosten & Cordover, eds., Building A Successful Collaborative Family Law Practice (ABA 2018), the following:
The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) is the premier organization urging families to resolve divorce and other family law matters in a better way. Collaborative Divorce, also known as Collaborative Practice, Collaborative Law, and the Collaborative Process, is a structured method of private dispute resolution that keeps families out of court.
The short video below, produced by the IACP, explains why families facing divorce should consider Collaborative Practice.
When you come into my office to learn about collaborative divorce, I want to make sure that you understand the process. Yes, collaborative divorce helps families day in and day out, but there are potential negatives that you need to know, as well. Further, Rule 4-1.19 of the Florida Bar Rules of Professional Conduct requires me to help ensure you have informed consent before entering the collaborative process.
Accordingly, I will sit down with you to discuss all aspects of collaborative practice. At the end, I will provide you with an Explanation of Collaborative Process Consent Form to sign. I have designed this form, but it is based on one created by Robert J. Merlin, an attorney in South Florida who was the point person for the adoption of Rule 4-1.19 by the Florida Supreme Court.
If you are considering or going through divorce, there are two terms you should become familiar with: collaborative divorce and collaborative divorce participation agreement.
Collaborative divorce is a form of private dispute resolution where you, your spouse, and your attorneys agree from the beginning that they will not fight in court. You agree that you do not want to subject yourselves, your children, your business, and your friends and family to an adversarial, hostile, and public court system. You just want to move on to your better future in the least painful way possible.
Though there are statutes and rules that interact with the collaborative divorce process, it is mainly governed by a contract, known as a collaborative divorce participation agreement. This is an agreement that you and your spouse sign. Because the collaborative divorce process is very different than the traditional divorce process, it is important that you have a complete understanding of your collaborative divorce participation agreement and walk through the agreement thoroughly with your attorney.
Below is a sample collaborative divorce participation agreement that I often use in my cases here in Tampa Bay. Keep in mind that there are a lot of variations of this agreement, and different communities use different participation agreements. In fact, I use different participation agreements depending on the circumstances of the family and what type of resolution they are trying to reach (i.e., divorce, post-divorce, prenuptial agreement, or postnuptial agreement).
If you are in the market for a divorce lawyer, you should know that not all divorce lawyers are the same. Some specialize in fighting in court, while others focus on resolving disputes outside of court. One way to help determine which strategy your divorce lawyer focuses on is to find out whether he or she has completed an Introductory Collaborative Practice Training.
An Introductory Collaborative Practice Training is one of the first steps a lawyer or other professional takes before offering collaborative divorce services. Collaborative divorce is a process where the spouses agree that they will not use their attorneys to fight in court; rather the attorneys and any other professionals will focus solely on helping the family resolve their disputes and move on to their better future.
If you are going through divorce, you may have heard of collaborative divorce as a non-adversarial method of separating. What you may not know is that not all divorce lawyers have completed collaborative training. Further, even among those who have completed a training, not all collaborative lawyers meet the IACP Minimum Standards for Collaborative Practitioners.
International Academy of Collaborative ProfessionalsThe IACP is the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. It is the premiere organization when it comes to helping families resolve disputes in a better way. The mission of the IACP is “To transform the way families resolves conflict by building a global community of Collaborative Practice and consensual dispute resolution professionals.”
The IACP initially created Minimum Standards for Collaborative Practitioners in 2004; it revised and adopted the current Standards in 2014. It states the following about the Standards:
The IACP Standards for Trainers, Trainings, and Practitioners are drafted with an awareness of the aggregate nature of learning. Knowledge comes from the interface between education and practical experience. Skill is acquired from the successive application of education to experience. With those principles in mind, these Standards should be understood as a point of departure in a continuing journey of education and practice for Collaborative practitioners and trainers.
There’s no getting around the fact that divorce is difficult and painful. And yet, not all divorces are the same. To the contrary, some methods to separate are designed to be adversarial and others are designed to be holistic.
In the short video below, produced by the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals, social worker Gary Direnfeld discusses collaborative divorce, which he views as a good way to separate. Direnfeld filmed this clip at the 7th Annual Conference of the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals.
