Tag Archive for: collaborative facilitator

Internal Family Systems Model: Bringing Compassion Into Divorce

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Going through divorce can stir up all kinds of emotions—anger, fear, sadness, even guilt. But for some, there may also be a part that feels relief—especially if you’ve been thinking about divorce for a long time and finally taken that first step. It’s not just about dividing property or deciding where the kids will live. It’s about navigating a major life change with all the different parts of yourself weighing in. One powerful way to make sense of it all is with the Internal Family Systems model, also known as IFS.

What is the Internal Family Systems Model?

IFS is a way of understanding yourself from the inside out. It helps you recognize that you’re made up of different parts—like the part of you that’s angry, the part that’s scared, the part that’s hopeful, and the part that just wants peace. These parts aren’t bad. They’re trying to protect you. But when one part takes over, it can be tough to communicate or make clear-headed decisions.

In the Collaborative Divorce process, we can use IFS concepts to help you tune into these parts and access your grounded, centered self—the one that can truly lead with compassion and confidence.

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How Doctors Divorce in Florida

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How Doctors Divorce in Florida: A Smarter, Private, Team-Based Approach

Divorce is challenging. But for physicians and their spouses, it can come with extra layers—like valuing a medical practice, protecting reputation and sensitive financial data, and balancing a demanding career with family obligations. If you or your spouse is a doctor in Florida, Collaborative Divorce offers a way to handle your separation with professionalism, privacy, and support.

At Family Diplomacy: A Collaborative Law Firm, we’ve worked with doctors and high-net-worth families across the state. We understand the unique financial and emotional dynamics at play—and how to guide you through them with dignity.

A Private Divorce Process That Respects Your Profession

Collaborative Divorce discussions and decisions take place outside of court. Instead of leaving decisions up to a judge, you and your spouse work with a team of professionals to reach solutions together. This is especially helpful when one or both of you are physicians with complicated schedules, licenses, or business interests at stake.

Just like you may work with other healthcare professionals in a hospital or practice setting—surgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses, administrators—a Collaborative Divorce uses an interdisciplinary team. Your team likely will include two lawyers (one for each of you), a neutral facilitator (who is a licensed mental health professional to deal with challenging conversations head on and craft a tailored parenting plan), and a neutral financial professional (to efficiently gather mandatory disclosure and help develop bespoke financial options). Each team member brings their own area of expertise to help the family function better and get through the divorce.

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What’s In A Collaborative Participation Agreement?

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If you and your spouse agree to use the Collaborative Divorce process in Florida, one of the first steps you’ll take is signing a Collaborative Participation Agreement. This agreement sets the tone for a respectful, private, and team-supported process to resolve your divorce without fighting in court. It’s a powerful document that helps you and your spouse stay focused on resolution instead of conflict.  And, because the rules of Collaborative Divorce are so different than the old-style adversarial divorce options, it is important that you understand what you and your spouse are signing yourselves up for.

Below is a summary of what our law firm’s most commonly used Collaborative Participation Agreement includes—and why it matters to you.  You will also find the text of our current Collaborative Participation Agreement below (please note that your Collaborative Participation Agreement may vary from the one below).

Who’s on Your Team?

In a Collaborative Divorce, each spouse has their own separate lawyer so that each of you can speak freely and get independent legal advice. These lawyers don’t act as adversaries—instead, they work together to help both of you reach a solution. In your case, one of the attorneys may be Adam B. Cordover, a leader in Florida’s Collaborative Law movement and co-author of the American Bar Association’s book Building a Successful Collaborative Family Law Practice. Adam has trained professionals across the U.S. and abroad and brings deep knowledge of complex financial matters.

This is the most common model of Collaborative Divorce used in Florida.

You’ll also likely have:

  • A Neutral Facilitator – A licensed mental health professional who is a communication specialist, team leader to keep discussions progressing (rather than focused on the fights of the past), and expert of childhood development to help craft a parenting plan tailored to your kids’ needs (if there are children).
  • A Neutral Financial Professional – A financial expert who helps efficiently gather required documents (known as “mandatory disclosure”), educate both spouses so that each understands what is in the marital bucket before expected to make long-lasting decisions, and build realistic support and property division options that work for your family.
  • Collaborative Assistant – A volunteer notetaker.  The Collaborative Assistant agrees to the same confidentiality rules as the other professionals.  He or she takes notes during meetings so that your professionals can focus in real time on tending to your family’s needs.

Other specialists, like child or business valuation experts, can be brought in if needed.

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Why LGBTQ+ Professionals Choose Collaborative Divorce in Florida

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As an LGBTQ+ professional, you may already be carrying the weight of navigating a world that does not always recognize or protect your family the way it should. Whether you are “out” or prefer to keep parts of your personal life private, these times can feel especially heavy. Sadly, you may feel like many LGBTQ+ families today—under attack—whether from unfair legislation, social judgment, or even your own community.

When you are going through a divorce, the last thing you need is to have your private life, financial matters, or parenting decisions laid bare in a public courtroom. That’s why many LGBTQ+ professionals turn to Collaborative Divorce—a private, respectful, and forward-thinking way to resolve family matters without fighting in court.

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Filing Your Divorce In A Far Away Florida County: Protecting Your Privacy

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When you are a professional or public figure, your privacy is priceless. Whether you are a business owner, lawyer, doctor, or executive, or the spouse of someone whose reputation is always under a microscope, you cannot afford to have your personal life become the next topic of office gossip or news headlines. What many people do not realize is that, if you and your spouse agree, you can file for divorce in any county in the state of Florida—not just where you live or work.

This option can be especially valuable if you live or work in a high-profile area like Tampa, St. Petersburg, or Sarasota. Filing in a different county—perhaps one where neither of you has a professional presence—can make it much harder for others to easily find your case. A simple agreement on venue can help you avoid having your personal and financial details sitting in a local public courthouse where people recognize your name.

Keeping Financial and Private Details Out of Public Court File

Even better, Florida law now allows couples, if they both agree, to waive the filing of their financial affidavits with the court. This means you may be able to keep most of your sensitive details—like your income, assets, debts, and business interests—out of the public record. We have the experience to help you navigate this process correctly, no matter where you file.

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Comparing 4 Models of Collaborative Divorce

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Collaborative Divorce is a private process where both you and your spouse work together, with the support of various professionals, to reach a mutually agreeable resolution without fighting in court. This blog post compares and contrasts four models—Lawyer-Only, Collaborative Mediation, Neutral Facilitator, and Two-Coach—each offering unique strengths and approaches.* By understanding the roles and benefits of each, you and your spouse can make an informed decision that best supports your family’s needs.

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Special Needs Children and Collaborative Divorce

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Going through divorce is never easy. But when you are raising a child with special needs, the challenges — both emotional and financial — can feel overwhelming. You need a process that protects your child, respects your family’s future, and helps you work through the difficult moments with dignity.

That’s where Collaborative Divorce can make a world of difference. At Family Diplomacy: A Collaborative Law Firm, we are here to guide you through this private divorce process with care, compassion, and expertise.

A Collaborative Facilitator Can Tailor a Parenting Plan for Special Needs

In a traditional Florida divorce, parenting plans often focus on basics like overall decision-making, weekly schedules, and holidays. But if your child has special needs, you already know that their world is more complex.

In Collaborative Divorce, a neutral Collaborative Facilitator — a licensed mental health professional — works with both parents to develop a parenting plan tailored to your child’s specific requirements. Some examples include:

  • Coordinating medical treatments, therapies, and specialized education
  • Managing transitions between households in a way that supports emotional regulation
  • Planning for transportation and access to services that may not be available in every community
  • Creating ways for both parents to participate meaningfully in decisions about your child’s care and development

Instead of battling over who gets “more time,” the Facilitator helps both parents stay focused on what your child needs most to thrive.

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How Tax Loss Harvesting Can Turn Non-Marital Investments Into Marital Assets

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If you’re an investor going through a divorce, you likely have a keen eye on your finances. You may already be familiar with tax loss harvesting, a strategy that can help reduce your tax bill by selling investments at a loss to offset capital gains. While this technique can be a smart financial move, it can also have unintended consequences in divorce—potentially turning what you thought was your separate, non-marital property into a shared marital asset.

What Is Tax Loss Harvesting?*

Tax loss harvesting is a strategy that can be used to lower your tax liability. For example, if you have investments in a taxable brokerage account that have lost value, you can sell them at a loss to offset capital gains from other investments. This reduces your overall taxable income and can lead to significant tax savings.

There are many rules associated with tax loss harvesting.  For example, you cannot sell a mutual fund at a loss and then immediately repurchase that same mutual fund.  However, one strategy that many investors utilize is to sell one investment at a loss and then purchase a similar, but different, investment.  For example, you might sell VTSAX, the Vanguard U.S. total stock market index fund, at a loss and purchase VFIAX, the Vanguard S&P 500 index fund, which is highly correlated with VTSAX.  The White Coat Investor website has a really good explainer on tax loss harvesting.

Many investors use this approach as part of a long-term financial strategy, reinvesting the proceeds into different securities to maintain their investment portfolio. However, if you are going through a divorce, you must be careful about how and when you execute tax loss harvesting.

*Please note that we are not accountants, financial advisors, or tax lawyers, this information is not intended to provide advice, and this is for educational purposes only.

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Collaborative Divorce: Control Your Own Destiny

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When you’re facing the difficult decision to divorce, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. And when you are used to making high stakes decisions, the feeling of powerlessness is just unacceptable. Decisions about your family, finances, and future carry immense weight. The last thing you want is to surrender control of your destiny to a judge in a public courtroom. That’s why many C-Suite executives, doctors, business owners, high-ranking military officers, and other professionals in Florida choose Collaborative Divorce.

What Is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce is a unique and private approach to family law that puts you and your spouse in charge. Instead of battling it out in court, you work together with a team of professionals to craft agreed upon solutions tailored to your family’s needs. Each of you have your own separate lawyers to provide you with independent legal advice.  The Collaborative Lawyers are there solely for the purpose of reaching an out-of-court agreement, and are prohibited, once the Collaborative Process begins, from being used to fight in court.  Additionally, your Collaborative Team may include a financial expert to navigate tricky financial discussions and a Facilitator (who is a licensed mental health professional) to keep discussion focused on the future rather than the disputes that led to the divorce.

Maintain Control Over Critical Decisions

Unlike traditional litigation, Collaborative Divorce fosters cooperation rather than conflict. You, your spouse, and your lawyers share the same goal: to find resolutions that work for everyone in your family. This approach gives you the power to decide how to divide assets, plan for your children’s future, and address any other issues that arise. Instead of a judge dictating your future, you together with your spouse maintain control over these critical decisions.

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Video: Cordover Keynotes Family Law Now Virtual Summit

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Family Diplomacy managing attorney Adam B. Cordover recently gave the keynote address at the Third Annual Family Law Now Virtual Summit. The aim of the Summit is to provide legal professionals and those individuals facing separation, divorce, and other family law matters with vital information, strategies, and tools to support them as they navigate through the process.  The Summit was hosted by veteran Canadian lawyer Russell Alexander and benefitted The Denise House, which provides a safe shelter and supportive programs in Canada for women, with or without children, experiencing gender-based violence.

Examining Models of Collaborative Practice

The topic of the keynote address was “All the Ways to Collaborate: Examining Different Models of Collaborative Practice.”  In the keynote, Cordover urged lawyers to tailor the Collaborative Process to meet the needs of their family law clients.

You can view a video of the keynote, which is about 20 minutes long, below.

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