Tag Archive for: divorce

Internal Family Systems Model: Bringing Compassion Into Divorce

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Going through divorce can stir up all kinds of emotions—anger, fear, sadness, even guilt. But for some, there may also be a part that feels relief—especially if you’ve been thinking about divorce for a long time and finally taken that first step. It’s not just about dividing property or deciding where the kids will live. It’s about navigating a major life change with all the different parts of yourself weighing in. One powerful way to make sense of it all is with the Internal Family Systems model, also known as IFS.

What is the Internal Family Systems Model?

IFS is a way of understanding yourself from the inside out. It helps you recognize that you’re made up of different parts—like the part of you that’s angry, the part that’s scared, the part that’s hopeful, and the part that just wants peace. These parts aren’t bad. They’re trying to protect you. But when one part takes over, it can be tough to communicate or make clear-headed decisions.

In the Collaborative Divorce process, we can use IFS concepts to help you tune into these parts and access your grounded, centered self—the one that can truly lead with compassion and confidence.

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How Doctors Divorce in Florida

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How Doctors Divorce in Florida: A Smarter, Private, Team-Based Approach

Divorce is challenging. But for physicians and their spouses, it can come with extra layers—like valuing a medical practice, protecting reputation and sensitive financial data, and balancing a demanding career with family obligations. If you or your spouse is a doctor in Florida, Collaborative Divorce offers a way to handle your separation with professionalism, privacy, and support.

At Family Diplomacy: A Collaborative Law Firm, we’ve worked with doctors and high-net-worth families across the state. We understand the unique financial and emotional dynamics at play—and how to guide you through them with dignity.

A Private Divorce Process That Respects Your Profession

Collaborative Divorce discussions and decisions take place outside of court. Instead of leaving decisions up to a judge, you and your spouse work with a team of professionals to reach solutions together. This is especially helpful when one or both of you are physicians with complicated schedules, licenses, or business interests at stake.

Just like you may work with other healthcare professionals in a hospital or practice setting—surgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses, administrators—a Collaborative Divorce uses an interdisciplinary team. Your team likely will include two lawyers (one for each of you), a neutral facilitator (who is a licensed mental health professional to deal with challenging conversations head on and craft a tailored parenting plan), and a neutral financial professional (to efficiently gather mandatory disclosure and help develop bespoke financial options). Each team member brings their own area of expertise to help the family function better and get through the divorce.

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What’s In A Collaborative Participation Agreement?

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If you and your spouse agree to use the Collaborative Divorce process in Florida, one of the first steps you’ll take is signing a Collaborative Participation Agreement. This agreement sets the tone for a respectful, private, and team-supported process to resolve your divorce without fighting in court. It’s a powerful document that helps you and your spouse stay focused on resolution instead of conflict.  And, because the rules of Collaborative Divorce are so different than the old-style adversarial divorce options, it is important that you understand what you and your spouse are signing yourselves up for.

Below is a summary of what our law firm’s most commonly used Collaborative Participation Agreement includes—and why it matters to you.  You will also find the text of our current Collaborative Participation Agreement below (please note that your Collaborative Participation Agreement may vary from the one below).

Who’s on Your Team?

In a Collaborative Divorce, each spouse has their own separate lawyer so that each of you can speak freely and get independent legal advice. These lawyers don’t act as adversaries—instead, they work together to help both of you reach a solution. In your case, one of the attorneys may be Adam B. Cordover, a leader in Florida’s Collaborative Law movement and co-author of the American Bar Association’s book Building a Successful Collaborative Family Law Practice. Adam has trained professionals across the U.S. and abroad and brings deep knowledge of complex financial matters.

This is the most common model of Collaborative Divorce used in Florida.

You’ll also likely have:

  • A Neutral Facilitator – A licensed mental health professional who is a communication specialist, team leader to keep discussions progressing (rather than focused on the fights of the past), and expert of childhood development to help craft a parenting plan tailored to your kids’ needs (if there are children).
  • A Neutral Financial Professional – A financial expert who helps efficiently gather required documents (known as “mandatory disclosure”), educate both spouses so that each understands what is in the marital bucket before expected to make long-lasting decisions, and build realistic support and property division options that work for your family.
  • Collaborative Assistant – A volunteer notetaker.  The Collaborative Assistant agrees to the same confidentiality rules as the other professionals.  He or she takes notes during meetings so that your professionals can focus in real time on tending to your family’s needs.

Other specialists, like child or business valuation experts, can be brought in if needed.

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Why LGBTQ+ Professionals Choose Collaborative Divorce in Florida

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As an LGBTQ+ professional, you may already be carrying the weight of navigating a world that does not always recognize or protect your family the way it should. Whether you are “out” or prefer to keep parts of your personal life private, these times can feel especially heavy. Sadly, you may feel like many LGBTQ+ families today—under attack—whether from unfair legislation, social judgment, or even your own community.

When you are going through a divorce, the last thing you need is to have your private life, financial matters, or parenting decisions laid bare in a public courtroom. That’s why many LGBTQ+ professionals turn to Collaborative Divorce—a private, respectful, and forward-thinking way to resolve family matters without fighting in court.

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Filing Your Divorce In A Far Away Florida County: Protecting Your Privacy

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When you are a professional or public figure, your privacy is priceless. Whether you are a business owner, lawyer, doctor, or executive, or the spouse of someone whose reputation is always under a microscope, you cannot afford to have your personal life become the next topic of office gossip or news headlines. What many people do not realize is that, if you and your spouse agree, you can file for divorce in any county in the state of Florida—not just where you live or work.

This option can be especially valuable if you live or work in a high-profile area like Tampa, St. Petersburg, or Sarasota. Filing in a different county—perhaps one where neither of you has a professional presence—can make it much harder for others to easily find your case. A simple agreement on venue can help you avoid having your personal and financial details sitting in a local public courthouse where people recognize your name.

Keeping Financial and Private Details Out of Public Court File

Even better, Florida law now allows couples, if they both agree, to waive the filing of their financial affidavits with the court. This means you may be able to keep most of your sensitive details—like your income, assets, debts, and business interests—out of the public record. We have the experience to help you navigate this process correctly, no matter where you file.

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Comparing 4 Models of Collaborative Divorce

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Collaborative Divorce is a private process where both you and your spouse work together, with the support of various professionals, to reach a mutually agreeable resolution without fighting in court. This blog post compares and contrasts four models—Lawyer-Only, Collaborative Mediation, Neutral Facilitator, and Two-Coach—each offering unique strengths and approaches.* By understanding the roles and benefits of each, you and your spouse can make an informed decision that best supports your family’s needs.

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Special Needs Children and Collaborative Divorce

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Going through divorce is never easy. But when you are raising a child with special needs, the challenges — both emotional and financial — can feel overwhelming. You need a process that protects your child, respects your family’s future, and helps you work through the difficult moments with dignity.

That’s where Collaborative Divorce can make a world of difference. At Family Diplomacy: A Collaborative Law Firm, we are here to guide you through this private divorce process with care, compassion, and expertise.

A Collaborative Facilitator Can Tailor a Parenting Plan for Special Needs

In a traditional Florida divorce, parenting plans often focus on basics like overall decision-making, weekly schedules, and holidays. But if your child has special needs, you already know that their world is more complex.

In Collaborative Divorce, a neutral Collaborative Facilitator — a licensed mental health professional — works with both parents to develop a parenting plan tailored to your child’s specific requirements. Some examples include:

  • Coordinating medical treatments, therapies, and specialized education
  • Managing transitions between households in a way that supports emotional regulation
  • Planning for transportation and access to services that may not be available in every community
  • Creating ways for both parents to participate meaningfully in decisions about your child’s care and development

Instead of battling over who gets “more time,” the Facilitator helps both parents stay focused on what your child needs most to thrive.

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St. Petersburg Divorce Lawyer Review: “[Sped] Up The Process…Eased the tension”

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I recently received a review from a divorce client on our St. Petersburg Google Page.  Please note that every case and circumstance is different, and I can’t promise the same or similar results in your matter.

It was a blessing to partner with Adam and Jennifer to help navigate me through the divorce process. They both were responsive, thorough and professional throughout the highs and lows of the process.

I found Adam’s advice to be logical, [rational] and while he certainly represented and protected my interests, he was also considerate and mindful to my ex-wife which was important to me. I believe this certainly [sped] up the process and eased the tension/relationship with her throughout the proceedings. He also took also took an intense interest in the protection and wellbeing of my son.

I will always be grateful to Adam and his team.

Five Stars.

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Divorcing in a Down Market – Pros and Cons

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Should You Divorce During a Down Market? Understanding the Pros and Cons
How market volatility, long-term investing, and the Collaborative Divorce process intersect

When the markets drop, your investments, retirement accounts, and even business valuations may look very different than they did just a few months ago. If you’re considering divorce in a time like this—especially after recent economic turbulence and tariffs—it’s natural to feel uncertain. But believe it or not, there may be strategic advantages to divorcing during a down market, particularly if you approach the process thoughtfully.

✅ Pro: A Unique Opportunity for Buy-and-Hold Investors

If you’re a long-term investor who believes the market will eventually recover (as history suggests it usually does), a down market may present a silver lining. Here’s why:

Let’s say part of your marital estate includes mutual funds, ETFs, or stocks that have dipped in value. If you receive those investments as part of your divorce agreement, you’re essentially getting more shares at a lower “price tag.” Over time, if the market rebounds, those shares may significantly increase in value—benefiting you in the long run.

In other words, if you’re a buy-and-hold investor, receiving a larger portion of your share of marital assets in investments during a downturn could position you well for future growth. You’re not just accepting lower-value assets—you’re planting seeds for potential recovery and wealth.

⚠️ Con: Lower Valuations Can Lead to Complications

Of course, not everything is rosy in a down market. If your marital assets include real estate, business interests, or retirement accounts, their reduced value may cause concern. One spouse might feel they’re losing out if an asset is divided when its value is temporarily depressed.

Also, dividing investments or retirement accounts during a low point can create tension, especially if one party is more risk-averse. This is where fear and conflict can escalate—unless you have a process in place to manage it.

🤝 How Collaborative Divorce Can Help

In a traditional court-based divorce, you may find yourself locked in a tug-of-war over who “wins” and who “loses” financially. But in a Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse commit to resolving issues together, outside of court, with the support of a professional team.  Each of you have your own separate lawyers prohibited from taking your case to court and to give you independent legal advice, and there are usually also neutral specialists to help in finances and family dynamics.

Here’s how it helps in a down market:

  • Customized Financial Scenarios: A neutral financial professional can work with both spouses to explain investment values, simulate recovery scenarios, and suggest creative ways to divide assets based on both of your interests and risk tolerances—even in uncertain times.
  • Avoiding a Fire Sale: Collaborative teams counsel you to maintain the status quo until there is an agreement to do otherwise, which can help you avoid the rush to liquidate investments, allowing you to stay true to your long-term financial strategy.
  • Preserving Relationships: Especially important if you’re co-parenting, Collaborative Divorce helps you reduce stress and focus on your future, not just your fears.

👤 Led by a Trusted Collaborative Professional

Adam B. Cordover is a leader in Collaborative Divorce, having trained lawyers, financial professionals, and mental health experts throughout the U.S., Canada, Israel, and France. He also co-authored Building a Successful Collaborative Family Law Practice, a book published by the American Bar Association. With deep experience in complex financial matters, Adam can help guide you through divorce in a way that protects your goals and honors your long-term financial values.

💬 We Can Help

If you’re facing divorce during a volatile market, you’re not alone—and you have options. We can help you make informed, thoughtful decisions that protect your future. Contact Family Diplomacy: A Collaborative Law Firm by clicking the button below.

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Family Diplomacy: A Collaborative Law Firm has a virtual practice and represents clients in South Florida, Central Florida, and North Florida.  We also have offices in Tampa, St. Petersburg, and Sarasota.

Imputing Income on Investments for Alimony & Child Support in a Florida Divorce

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When you go through a divorce, how much income you and your spouse can earn may become important for purposes of calculating alimony or child support. If one or both of you have investments and savings—like stocks, rental properties, or savings accounts—these assets may count as income, even if they are not bringing in cash every month. This process is called imputing income on investments.

In a courtroom divorce, each of you would likely hire your own financial expert to argue about how much income should be counted. This often leads to a battle of “dueling experts,” which can be stressful and expensive. But in a Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse can work with one neutral financial professional to come to a fair decision together.

What Does It Mean to Impute Income?

Imputing income means estimating how much money an investment could make, even if it is not currently earning income. For example:

  • A rental property that is sitting empty could still be rented out, and the potential rental income can be counted.
  • A stock portfolio may not pay dividends every year, but it has a history of earning money and growing in value.
  • A savings account could be invested to earn interest instead of just sitting unused.

By imputing income, you ensure that all financial resources are considered when calculating support payments, helping both spouses and children receive the support they need.

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