Tag Archive for: collaborative facilitator

Collaborative Divorce Is Not Right For You If…

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Collaborative divorce is not for everyone.  Sure, most families going through divorce would benefit from the private, secure, and non-adversarial nature of the collaborative process.  However, it may not be right for you if certain things are important to you.

Collaborative divorce is not right for you if…

You are seeking revenge

If you are seeking revenge, collaborative divorce is not right for you.  The collaborative process will not satisfy your need to see your spouse suffer.  This is because, at the beginning of the case, everyone signs a collaborative participation agreement in which the spouses agree to engage in good faith discussions to reach a resolution.  Each spouse has his or her own attorney, and the attorneys are there solely to help the clients reach an agreement.  The attorneys cannot be used for opposition research, lengthy motion practice, or accusatory litigation.

Picture for representational purposeHowever, the attorneys are also there to safeguard the process.  If an attorney believes that his or her client is no longer acting in good faith, or is only attempting to damage the other spouse, the attorney may have the right to terminate the process.  This shuts down behavior meant to harass the other spouse.  If the attorney believes his or her client can put the need for revenge aside, the collaborative process may continue.  If not, the collaborative attorney has a duty to ensure that the process is not being used as a tool for vengeance.

Further, the collaborative process generally involves a neutral facilitator, with a background in communication, childhood development, and family and power dynamics.  The facilitator helps keep conversations productive and forward-focused rather than centered on past grievances.  The facilitator is also there to address power imbalances and shortcut vengeful actions and communications.

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Direnfeld: Settling Parenting Disputes Outside Court

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Do you ever wonder how your divorce is affecting your children?  Do you sometimes think about how conflict may be affecting your own mental health, and your ability to effectively parent, or co-parent?

Gary Direnfeld is an internationally known social worker, speaker, and parenting expert based out of Ontario.  He has been an expert witness in many high conflict divorce trials, and yet he is a strong believer that the courtroom is a terrible forum for resolving divorce and parenting disputes.  In the following radio interview, Gary discusses why he believes parenting and divorce-related issues should be resolved outside of court:

You can find a partial transcript, slightly edited for clarity, below:

Roughly 80% of folks going through a separation or divorce are going to settle things between themselves.  They may have some 3rd party assistance.  Twenty percent are going to turn to the courts.  Less than 5%, even if turning to the courts, are going to go to trial.  Most matter settle ahead of a trial.  And then there is that small percentage, that 1, 2, or 3% that really tie up the courts’ time.  And I, for whatever reason, find myself heavily involved with those folks.

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High conflict parents turn to the court searching for release only to find that in many, many cases, litigation only exacerbates the problems.  It doesn’t resolve them.  And the reason for that is, in turning to the courts, it is often a race to the bottom.  I will prove my case by making you look worse than me, and no one wants to be on the receiving end of that.  So the other parent reciprocates in kind.  And then the “he said she said” escalates to such a pitch that it is hard to know one from the other.  

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How Often Do Collaborative Divorces Terminate?

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Good, you have decided that if you are going to divorce, you are going to do it collaboratively.  This means that you and your spouse will each have your own attorneys, but the attorneys are not there to fight.  You hire the attorneys to help reach an out-of-court agreement so you can move on with your lives.

But you may also know that either spouse at any time can decide they no longer want to participate in the collaborative divorce, causing it to terminate.  All professionals are automatically fired.  The spouses then proceed as “opposing parties” in the traditional divorce court route.

The possibility of losing your attorney is a scary notion.  So, you may be wondering to yourself, how often do collaborative divorces terminate?

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Pensacola Introductory & Advanced Collaborative Training November 2-4

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Did you know that there was a major change to Chapter 61 of the Florida Statutes regarding Collaborative Family Law?  Are you confident that you can competently abide by Florida’s new Collaborative Law Rule of Professional Conduct and Rule of Procedure?  Or do you just want to learn how to help people divorce in a less stressful, more respectful, and child-centered manner?

Attorneys, mental health professionals, financial professionals, mediators, and others are welcomed to Pensacola for an Introductory and Advanced training on Interdisciplinary Collaborative Family Law!

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW!

What/When:  

  • Introductory Interdisciplinary Collaborative Training – November 2-3, 2017
  • Enrolling the Collaborative Case Advanced Training – November 4, 2017

Where:  Pensacola, Florida

Cost:

  • $500 for 2-Day Introductory Training
  • $200 for Advanced Training (Enrolling the Collaborative Case)
  • Discounted rate of $650 for all 3 days

Host:  West Florida Collaborative Law, Inc.

Trainers:  Tampa Bay Collaborative Trainers

Learn more: Contact John Susko, Esq. at john@susko-collab-med.com OR Joshua Jones, Esq., at jjones@westfloridacollaborativelaw.com

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW!

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IACP Collaborative Law Practice

Video: A Client’s View of Collaborative Divorce

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After you decide to divorce, the question of how you divorce can be one of the most consequential decisions you make. You have choices.  Many people hire a trial lawyer  and go the traditional litigation route to fight it out in court.  Usually they do this because they don’t know there are options.

In most cases, the single most humane and effective option out there is collaborative divorce.  In collaborative divorce, you receive the support of your own attorney, but the attorneys are not there to fight.  Rather, they are there to work together and help you figure out the best way for you and your spouse to move on with your lives as quickly, peacefully, and efficiently as possible.  Other professionals are utilized to ensure everyone focuses on the future rather than the arguments that led to the divorce, as well as to aid in financial transparency.

In the video below, produced by the Tampa Bay Academy of Collaborative Professionals, a former husband, Nick, discusses his collaborative divorce:

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Collaborative Divorce in Tampa Bay

What Is Next Generation Divorce?

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If you have done internet searches for collaborative divorce in Tampa Bay or Greater Sarasota, you have likely come across the website for Next Generation Divorce (you can find the link here).  Next Generation Divorce has many members who are family law attorneys, but it is not a law firm.  It has members who are psychologists, licensed mental health counselors, marriage and family therapists, and social workers, but it is not a therapy-related organization.  And it has members who are financial planners and C.P.A.’s, but it is not a financial planning or accounting firm.

Next Generation Divorce

Member of Next Generation Divorce

So what is Next Generation Divorce?

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Video: Child Wants Divorcing Parents to be Friends

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When most people go through divorce, they are consumed by their emotions.  No matter how you look at it, divorce is a trauma.  However, people oftentimes forget how the divorce is affecting children.  And they forget that children are keenly aware of how parents treat one another during divorce.

A video that has been going around the internet lately shows a little girl talking to her mom about how she wants her divorcing parents to be friends and treat each other well.  You can find the video after the jump.

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Unique Forms of Collaborative Law in Tampa Bay

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Collaborative practice is not just for divorce.  It is most commonly associated with divorce, but it can be used as a non-adversarial, private form of dispute resolution in many different scenarios.  Further, there are many cases where a divorce does not begin collaboratively, and yet ends up in the collaborative process.

Below are links to posts written by Family Diplomacy managing attorney Adam B. Cordover on unique forms of collaborative practice in Tampa Bay:

A Complicated Divorce Goes Collaborative

https://familydiplomacy.com/blog/family-law-news/client-review-a-complicated-divorce-goes-collaborative/

Do You Need a Divorce Second Opinion?

https://familydiplomacy.com/blog/collaborative-divorce/do-you-need-a-divorce-second-opinion/

Collaborative Law in Medical Malpractice

https://familydiplomacy.com/blog/collaborative-divorce/video-collaborative-law-in-medical-malpractice/

Polyamorous Divorce in Tampa Bay

https://familydiplomacy.com/blog/lgbt-family-law-matters/polyamorous-divorce-in-tampa-bay/

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Cordover Guest Speaker at Clearwater Bar Association Meeting

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On April 13, 2016, collaborative attorney Adam B. Cordover was a guest speaker at a meeting of the Clearwater Bar Association Family Law Section.  Cordover presented alongside Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Collaborative Facilitator Linda Peterman and Merrill Lynch Certified Financial Planner and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst Jim Spicer on “Collaborative Family Law – Offering A Cutting Edge Alternative to Courtroom Divorce.”

Collaborative divorce is a private form of alternative dispute resolution where the spouses and their attorneys work together to respectfully reach an agreement that is acceptable to both.  Rather than focus on the arguments of the past, collaborative attorneys coach their clients to focus on the future and on what is most important to them, such as the health and well-being of their children.

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Tampa Tribune Publishes Cordover Letter on Collaborative Divorce

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The March 31, 2016 edition of the Tampa Tribune published a Letter to the Editor penned by Family Diplomacy Managing Attorney Adam B. Cordover on the newly signed Florida Collaborative Law Process Act (“CLPA”).  You can find the Letter to the Editor below:

LETTER OF THE DAY:  TAKING THE FIGHTING OUT OF DIVORCE

Recent bills passed by the Florida Legislature reforming alimony and changing child time-sharing laws have received a lot of attention, but something that has flown under the radar is the passage of the Collaborative Law Process Act (CLPA). Gov. Rick Scott signed the bill on March 24 after a seven-year effort by licensed mental health counselors, marriage and family therapists, psychologists and other family advocates.

 

The CLPA applies to divorce and other family law matters, and it creates a uniform system for the practice of collaborative law (also sometimes referred to as collaborative divorce, collaborative practice or the collaborative process).

The goal of collaborative law is to take the fighting out of divorce. Each spouse retains an attorney for the sole purpose of reaching an out-of-court agreement. Collaborative attorneys are barred from wasting any of the clients’ energy, time or money on opposition research, discovery motions or preparing for trial.

Collaborative law often involves a neutral facilitator with a mental health licensure. This is in recognition of the fact that divorce is not just a legal process, but it is predominately an emotional process. The facilitator helps parents learn to communicate and focus on what is most important to them, such as the health and welfare of their children.