Tag Archive for: dissolution of marriage

“Never Leave It In The Hands Of The Judges”

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Several years ago, I wrote a blog post revealing that I am a huge fan of mixed martial arts and comparing the Unified Family Courts with the Ultimate Fighting Championship (“UFC”).  The main point of the post: both the Unified Family Courts and the UFC may be interesting to observe, but I would never want to be a participant in either as it would be too painful.

Interestingly, the UFC has a maxim that applies to most family law situations: “Never Leave It In The Hands Of The Judges.”  In both situations, this applies because no matter how persuasive you are, or how hard you fight, when you let judges decide your fate, you are giving up control of the outcome and your future.  Further, as wise and dedicated as judges are, they can get things wrong.

Fortunately, there are alternatives, including uncontested divorces, mediation, and Collaborative Divorce.  This post will focus on why you want to reach an out-of-court agreement rather than rely on contested court hearings.

Judges Are Not Your Friend

It is common at the end of UFC fights, when all rounds are over but before the judges have made a decision, for both fighters to raise their hands in victory.  Both fighters’ cornermen will tell them that they won.  Then the decision comes, and one fighter loses.  That fighter’s cornermen will tell them that they were robbed.  They were not.  They left it in the hands of the judges.

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ChatGPT on Collaborative Divorce

Does ChatGPT Get Collaborative Divorce Right?

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We have been hearing a lot about ChatGPT over the last few months.  For those unaware, ChatGPT is a form of artificial intelligence that uses plain language to produce an answer to a prompt.  According to a ChatGPT FAQ page, “These models were trained on vast amounts of data from the internet written by humans, including conversations, so the responses it provides may sound human-like. It is important to keep in mind that this is a direct result of the system’s design (i.e. maximizing the similarity between outputs and the dataset the models were trained on) and that such outputs may be inaccurate, untruthful, and otherwise misleading at times.”

So, does AI get Collaborative Divorce correct?

The Prompt

The way that the program works is that, in plain language, you ask a question or make a request, and it produces a response.  For these purposes, I entered the following prompt: “Explain Collaborative Divorce in a blog post.”  The first response provided 6 paragraphs of text.  To simplify things, I refined my query, and I asked it to respond in 3 paragraphs.

Below is the result.

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LAWYER MAGAZINE: Who Is Disqualified if a Collaborative Divorce Terminates

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As a family law attorney who specializes in Collaborative Divorce and Family Law, I can confirm what research shows:  Collaborative Divorce tends to be successful.

What Is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce is a private, non-adversarial form of dispute resolution where you and your spouse retain separate, specially trained lawyers who focus solely on helping you reach agreements that work for your family.  Oftentimes, you will have the help of a Neutral Collaborative Facilitator who specializes in family dynamics, childhood development, and communication to help keep the process moving forward.  You will also usually retain a Neutral Financial Professional who brings efficiency to the process and can help give both of you the information and tools you need to feel comfortable with whatever agreement you reach.

If a Collaborative Divorce does not result in an agreement, or you or your spouse wish to discontinue the process, then it Terminates.  This means that both attorneys and all professionals must withdraw from your matter (in other words, they are “Disqualified”), and you can move on with successor litigation lawyers, if you wish.

As I mentioned earlier, Collaborative Divorce tends to be successful, and it is relatively rare for the process to Terminate.  A study by the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (“IACP”) found that 86% of cases ended in a full agreement, with an additional 2% ending in reconciliation between the spouses.  Research by the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals has found similar results.  In my personal practice, 90+% of my Collaborative matters have ended in a full agreement between the spouses.  Of course, we cannot guarantee that your Collaborative Divorce will be successful; however, chances are that it will be.

Who Is Disqualified if a Collaborative Divorce Terminates

 

There has been some questions in our local community as to who is Disqualified if a Collaborative Divorce Terminates.  I recently wrote an article for The LAWYER Magazine, a publication of the Hillsborough County Bar Association, on the topic.  You can find an excerpt below:

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Can I Still Get An Online Collaborative Divorce?

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Here in Florida, the court systems have largely reopened, and even though we are facing a surge in the Delta variant of the Coronavirus, things in many ways feel like we have gotten back to normal.  And yet, many people are still not comfortable having their most private details revealed in public divorce court battles or even meeting in person to resolve disputes outside of court.  So is Online Collaborative Divorce still an option?

Fortunately, the answer is yes, you can still resolve divorce and other family law matters amicably and without leaving your home.

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Collaborative Divorce: An Unbundled Legal Service

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Traditionally, divorce has been an adversarial process, with lawyers making arguments in front of a judge about what his or her client should get.  And yet, you are probably not looking to get in a prolonged battle with your spouse; rather, you are likely looking to move on with your life and ensure your kids do not get caught in the middle.  This is why I specialize in Collaborative Divorce, which unbundles divorce negotiations from the adversarial court process.  In effect, I am a resolution specialist.

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Video: How Does Collaborative Divorce Work?

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Have you heard of Collaborative Divorce?  If you are considering dissolving your marriage, it is an option to take control of your future and keep your private life outside of the public courtroom.

But how does Collaborative Divorce work?

In the video below from CBS Pittsburg, Collaborative Professionals Paula Hopkins and Marlene Boas explain the Collaborative Process.

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Protecting Your Reputation During Divorce

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You have worked hard for your reputation.  The last thing that you need is for your personal details to become fodder for colleagues, competitors, or the public.  But is there a more private way to go through divorce and protect your reputation?

There is.  And it is called Collaborative Divorce.

Collaborative Divorce: The Basics

In Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse have separate lawyers.  The lawyers are there solely for the purpose of helping you reach an out-of-court agreement.  The lawyers cannot be used for fighting in court or engaging in media battles between you and your spouse.

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A Collaborative Divorce?

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When you think of divorce, you probably think of court battles.  War of the Roses or Kramer vs. Kramer may come to mind.  Just the thought of your entire life being scrutinized and laid bare in a public courtroom is probably enough to send shivers down your spine.

But you may have heard of an alternative: “Collaborative Divorce.”  What exactly is it, and can divorce even be “Collaborative?”

Collaborative Divorce: A Simple Idea

Collaborative Divorce starts with a simple idea:  your family doesn’t belong in court.  You are likely not looking to make an enemy out of your spouse; you probably just want to move on with your life without harming your children (if any).

And so in Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse have your own separate, independent attorneys to counsel each of you.  But the attorneys are there solely for the purpose of helping you reach an out-of-court agreement.  Your Collaborative Lawyers are prohibited from fighting in court on your behalves.  This means that no time, money, or energy is spent on you and your spouse trying to tear one another apart for the purposes of preparing for trial.

Your attorneys’ jobs are to help you find a resolution that works for your family.

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What Is Simplified Dissolution of Marriage?

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Are you a spouse in Florida who is simply looking for a divorce?  Do you not have any minor children in common with your spouse?  Do you both agree that there are no alimony or child support issues to deal with?  Are all of your marital assets and debts already divided?

If so, you may be eligible for Florida’s Simplified Dissolution of Marriage.

Basics of Simplified Dissolution of Marriage

Simplified Dissolution of Marriage is meant to be a quick and easy way to divorce.  It is authorized by Rule 12.105 of the Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure.  Most people going through divorce do not qualify for a Simplified Dissolution of Marriage.  If you and your spouse meet the following criteria, then you may qualify:

  • You and your spouse do not have any minor or dependent children in common;
  • Neither your nor your spouse are pregnant;
  • Either you or your spouse has resided in Florida for at least six months prior to filing for divorce (only one spouse is required to have been a resident of Florida);
  • Both of you agree that your marriage is irretrievably broken and cannot be fixed (by, for example, having the judge order you to attend marital counseling);
  • Neither you nor your spouse are seeking alimony;
  • By agreement, you have already divided all assets and debts, or you agree that there are no assets and debts to divide;
  • Both you and your spouse are willing to waive your right to trial and appeal; and
  • Both you and your spouse are willing and able to appear together at the final hearing.

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Divorce Privacy

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When you are going through divorce – a time of great hurt and vulnerability – the last thing you want is to have your pain on public display.  And yet that is exactly what happens if you and your spouse chose to go through the traditional divorce court process.  You have no divorce privacy.

It would not be uncommon for you and your spouse to file allegations against each other in the public court record questioning each other’s parenting skills.  You often have to publicly display in response to written questions any personal belonging you have valued at $100 or more.  Under cross-examination, you may have to justify, in a courtroom available to anyone who wants to watch, your grocery bill, haircut/beauty parlor expenditures, donation to religious organizations and/or charities,  and medicinal needs.

Fortunately, there are processes that allow divorce privacy.  One such process is Collaborative Divorce.

Collaborative Divorce Privacy

In Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse have separate, independent lawyers.  The lawyers are there solely for the purpose of helping you, privately, reach an out-of-court agreement.  The law prohibits your Collaborative Lawyers from engaging in contested public court hearings.

All negotiations are had in private conference rooms (or secure videoconferencing platforms).  Generally, nothing is filed with the court until you and your spouse have reached a full resolution of all issues.  And, even then, the type and amount of information that does get filed can be greatly minimized.

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