8 Tips For Co-Parenting After a Hurricane

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Co-parenting during a divorce is challenging under normal circumstances, and dealing with the aftermath of a devastating hurricane adds another layer of difficulty. Here are some practical tips to navigate this situation effectively.  As a preview, many of these tips can be best accomplished within a Collaborative Divorce.

1. Prioritize the Children’s Well-Being

Keep routines as consistent as possible, such as school, meals, and bedtime, to provide stability.  Be honest with your children in an age-appropriate way about what’s happening but reassure them they are safe and loved.  Avoid speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the children.

2. Communicate Effectively

Use clear, respectful, and focused communication to coordinate on parenting issues.  Consider using co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents to document agreements and streamline communication if direct interaction is too challenging.

3. Develop a Flexible Parenting Plan

A hurricane might have disrupted your previous arrangements, so work together to create a temporary plan that accounts for housing, transportation, and other logistical challenges.  Be prepared to adjust custody schedules based on access to safe housing and resources.

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Will I Get Custody of My Kids?

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Every parent going through a divorce fears that they will not receive sufficient time or custody with their children. For parents who are used to seeing their children whenever they please, the thought of a third party ordering a schedule by which they have to abide can be nerve-wracking.

Traditional Divorce Court – Judge Decides Custody

If you decide to litigate your divorce in court, you will leave your destiny to a judge who only receives a snapshot glance at your life and parenting abilities. Outside factors will impact your case like the attorneys’ trial abilities, the mood and beliefs of the judge who is assigned to your case, the opinion of the experts which may be determined by which party is paying him, and how the parties and witnesses present themselves in court.

So how do you ensure a positive result in your case? Keep the decision in your own hands. Divorces do not have to occur in court, and actually, most do not. There are several courtless divorce options that are available that leave these important decisions to you and your spouse.

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Gary Direnfeld on Sole Custody

Video: Do You Really Need “Sole Custody?”

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In my Tampa office, parents come to me all of the time and say they want “sole custody.”  Maybe they are having an argument with the other parent.  Maybe they just don’t get along.  So parents figure that the solution is to be the only one to have decision making authority over their child.

In the video below, social worker Gary Direnfeld challenges the assumptions behind requests for sole custody.

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What Is A Florida Parenting Plan?

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Any Florida parent who is going through a divorce with children or otherwise dealing with child custody issues will need to have a parenting plan.  A parenting plan is document that is either agreed upon by the parents or created by a judge that sets out each parents’ rights and responsibilities.  The Sixth Judicial Circuit (Pinellas and Pasco Counties) further describes a parenting plan as follows:

It is the public policy of this state to assure that each minor child has frequent and continuing contact with both parents after the parents separate or the marriage of the parties is dissolved and to encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities, and joys, of childrearing. Florida Statutes, section 61.13(2)(c).

A parenting plan is a document developed and agreed to by the parents of a minor child, and approved by the court, or if the parents cannot agree, established by the court, which governs the relationship between the parents regarding the child (encompassing “custody”, “parental responsibility”, and “visitation”). A parenting plan may address issues such as the child’s education, health care, and physical, social, and emotional well-being, and must include a time-sharing schedule. The parenting plan must take into account the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, the International Child Abduction Remedies Act, the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act, and the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction when addressing jurisdictional issues.

For purposes of establishing or modifying parental responsibility and creating, developing, approving, or modifying a parenting plan, including a time-sharing schedule, which governs each parent’s relationship with his or her minor child and the relationship between each parent with regard to his or her minor child, the best interest of the child shall be the primary consideration.

Any parenting plan approved by a court must address the following issues:

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