Collaborative Divorce : Family Diplomacy | A Collaborative Law Firm

COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE AND FAMILY LAW IN FLORIDA. No matter how you look at it, divorce and family law matters are difficult to go through. Expectations of stability are shattered,

mistrust grows, and bills pile up. And then the litigation begins. Attorneys file and serve petitions, counterpetitions, requests to produce, and motions to compel. Each party hires dueling mental health experts to convince a judge that he or she should have more time with the children. Privacy is eliminated as each party’s life is probed and publicly questioned so that one side may gain a tactical advantage.

But there is a different way. A more civilized way. And it is called Collaborative Family Law (also known as Collaborative Divorce or Collaborative Practice).

We are a Collaborative law firm dedicated to helping people resolve personal disputes without destroying their families. We encourage the use of the Collaborative Family Law model in divorce, child custody, child support, alimony, post-judgment, prenuptial, and most other family law cases. Further, Adam B. Cordover is an internationally-recognized leader in Collaborative Practice, a trainer who teaches other professionals how to help families Collaboratively, and author of an upcoming American Bar Association book on Collaborative Law.

“Never Leave It In The Hands Of The Judges”

Several years ago, I wrote a blog post revealing that I am a huge fan of mixed martial arts and comparing the Unified Family Courts with the Ultimate Fighting Championship (“UFC”). The main point of the post: both the Unified Family Courts and the UFC may be interesting to observe, but I would never want to be a participant in either as it would be too painful.

Interestingly, the UFC has a maxim that applies to most family law situations: “Never Leave It In The Hands Of The Judges.” In both situations, this applies because no matter how persuasive you are, or how hard you fight, when you let judges decide your fate, you are giving up control of the outcome and your future. Further, as wise and dedicated as judges are, they can get things wrong.

Fortunately, there are alternatives, including uncontested divorces, mediation, and Collaborative Divorce. This post will focus on why you want to reach an out-of-court agreement rather than rely on contested court hearings.

Judges Are Not Your Friend

It is common at the end of UFC fights, when all rounds are over but before the judges have made a decision, for both fighters to raise their hands in victory. Both fighters’ cornermen will tell them that they won. Then the decision comes, and one fighter loses. That fighter’s cornermen will tell them that they were robbed. They were not. They left it in the hands of the judges.

Does ChatGPT Get Collaborative Divorce Right?

March 22, 2023/in Collaborative Divorce //Tags: collaborative attorney, collaborative divorce, collaborative facilitator, collaborative family law, collaborative financial professional, Collaborative Law, collaborative mental health professional, collaborative practice, dissolution of marriage, family law technologyby Adam

We have been hearing a lot about ChatGPT over the last few months. For those unaware, ChatGPT is a form of artificial intelligence that uses plain language to produce an answer to a prompt. According to a ChatGPT FAQ page, “These models were trained on vast amounts of data from the internet written by humans, including conversations, so the responses it provides may sound human-like. It is important to keep in mind that this is a direct result of the system’s design (i.e. maximizing the similarity between outputs and the dataset the models were trained on) and that such outputs may be inaccurate, untruthful, and otherwise misleading at times.”

So, does AI get Collaborative Divorce correct?

The Prompt

The way that the program works is that, in plain language, you ask a question or make a request, and it produces a response. For these purposes, I entered the following prompt: “Explain Collaborative Divorce in a blog post.” The first response provided 6 paragraphs of text. To simplify things, I refined my query, and I asked it to respond in 3 paragraphs.

Below is the result.

Online Collaborative Divorce - Family Diplomacy | A Collaborative Law Firm

Can I Still Get An Online Collaborative Divorce?

August 12, 2021/in Collaborative Divorce //Tags: collaborative attorney, collaborative divorce, collaborative facilitator, collaborative family law, collaborative financial professional, Collaborative Law, collaborative mental health professional, collaborative practice, dissolution of marriage, divorceby Adam

Here in Florida, the court systems have largely reopened, and even though we are facing a surge in the Delta variant of the Coronavirus, things in many ways feel like we have gotten back to normal. And yet, many people are still not comfortable having their most private details revealed in public divorce court battles or even meeting in person to resolve disputes outside of court. So is Online Collaborative Divorce still an option?

Fortunately, the answer is yes, you can still resolve divorce and other family law matters amicably and without leaving your home.

Collaborative Divorce Cordover - Family Diplomacy | A Collaborative Law Firm

Collaborative Divorce: An Unbundled Legal Service

June 22, 2021/in Collaborative Divorce //Tags: child custody, collaborative attorney, collaborative divorce, collaborative facilitator, collaborative family law, collaborative financial professional, Collaborative Law, collaborative mental health professional, collaborative practice, dissolution of marriage, divorce, florida divorce, Florida Statutes, Tampa Bay Collaborative Divorceby Adam

Traditionally, divorce has been an adversarial process, with lawyers making arguments in front of a judge about what his or her client should get. And yet, you are probably not looking to get in a prolonged battle with your spouse; rather, you are likely looking to move on with your life and ensure your kids do not get caught in the middle. This is why I specialize in Collaborative Divorce, which unbundles divorce negotiations from the adversarial court process. In effect, I am a resolution specialist.

Video: How Does Collaborative Divorce Work?

March 30, 2021/in Collaborative Divorce //Tags: collaborative attorney, collaborative divorce, collaborative facilitator, collaborative family law, collaborative financial professional, Collaborative Law, collaborative mental health professional, collaborative practice, dissolution of marriage, divorce, Online Collaborative Divorce, Online Dispute Resolutionby Adam

Have you heard of Collaborative Divorce? If you are considering dissolving your marriage, it is an option to take control of your future and keep your private life outside of the public courtroom.

But how does Collaborative Divorce work?

In the video below from CBS Pittsburg, Collaborative Professionals Paula Hopkins and Marlene Boas explain the Collaborative Process.

Reputation 1 - Family Diplomacy | A Collaborative Law Firm

Protecting Your Reputation During Divorce

February 25, 2021/in Collaborative Divorce //Tags: collaborative attorney, collaborative divorce, collaborative facilitator, collaborative family law, collaborative financial professional, Collaborative Law, collaborative practice, dissolution of marriage, divorceby Adam

You have worked hard for your reputation. The last thing that you need is for your personal details to become fodder for colleagues, competitors, or the public. But is there a more private way to go through divorce and protect your reputation?

There is. And it is called Collaborative Divorce.

Collaborative Divorce: The Basics

In Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse have separate lawyers. The lawyers are there solely for the purpose of helping you reach an out-of-court agreement. The lawyers cannot be used for fighting in court or engaging in media battles between you and your spouse.

A Collaborative Divorce?

January 13, 2021/in Collaborative Divorce //Tags: collaborative attorney, collaborative divorce, collaborative facilitator, collaborative family law, collaborative financial professional, Collaborative Law, collaborative mental health professional, collaborative practice, dissolution of marriage, divorceby Adam

When you think of divorce, you probably think of court battles. War of the Roses or Kramer vs. Kramer may come to mind. Just the thought of your entire life being scrutinized and laid bare in a public courtroom is probably enough to send shivers down your spine.

But you may have heard of an alternative: “Collaborative Divorce.” What exactly is it, and can divorce even be “Collaborative?”

Collaborative Divorce: A Simple Idea

Collaborative Divorce starts with a simple idea: your family doesn’t belong in court. You are likely not looking to make an enemy out of your spouse; you probably just want to move on with your life without harming your children (if any).

And so in Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse have your own separate, independent attorneys to counsel each of you. But the attorneys are there solely for the purpose of helping you reach an out-of-court agreement. Your Collaborative Lawyers are prohibited from fighting in court on your behalves. This means that no time, money, or energy is spent on you and your spouse trying to tear one another apart for the purposes of preparing for trial.

Your attorneys’ jobs are to help you find a resolution that works for your family.

Divorce Privacy

November 17, 2020/in Collaborative Divorce //Tags: collaborative attorney, collaborative divorce, collaborative family law, Collaborative Law, collaborative practice, dissolution of marriage, divorceby Adam

When you are going through divorce – a time of great hurt and vulnerability – the last thing you want is to have your pain on public display. And yet that is exactly what happens if you and your spouse chose to go through the traditional divorce court process. You have no divorce privacy.

It would not be uncommon for you and your spouse to file allegations against each other in the public court record questioning each other’s parenting skills. You often have to publicly display in response to written questions any personal belonging you have valued at $100 or more. Under cross-examination, you may have to justify, in a courtroom available to anyone who wants to watch, your grocery bill, haircut/beauty parlor expenditures, donation to religious organizations and/or charities, and medicinal needs.

Fortunately, there are processes that allow divorce privacy. One such process is Collaborative Divorce.

Collaborative Divorce Privacy

In Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse have separate, independent lawyers. The lawyers are there solely for the purpose of helping you, privately, reach an out-of-court agreement. The law prohibits your Collaborative Lawyers from engaging in contested public court hearings.

All negotiations are had in private conference rooms (or secure videoconferencing platforms). Generally, nothing is filed with the court until you and your spouse have reached a full resolution of all issues. And, even then, the type and amount of information that does get filed can be greatly minimized.

Collaborative Practice 2 - Family Diplomacy | A Collaborative Law Firm

Does Your Divorce Lawyer Meet IACP Minimum Standards for Collaborative Practitioners?

September 22, 2020/in Collaborative Divorce //Tags: collaborative attorney, collaborative divorce, collaborative divorce training, collaborative family law, Collaborative Law, collaborative practice, dissolution of marriage, divorce, International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, Tampa Bay Collaborative Divorce, Tampa Bay Collaborative Family Lawby Adam

The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals has established Minimum Standards for Collaborative Practitioners, most recently revised in October 2014. When you consider hiring a divorce attorney, and you are exploring the option of Collaborative Divorce, ask your potential attorney whether he or she meets each of the following Minimum Standards:

1. General Requirements:

1.1 The Collaborative practitioner is a member in good standing of: IACP; and a local Collaborative Practice group.
1.2 The Collaborative practitioner accepts the IACP Mission Statement.
1.3 The Collaborative practitioner diligently strives to practice in a manner consistent with the IACP Ethical Standards for Collaborative practitioners.
1.4 The trainings referred to in 2.2, 3.3 and 4.3 must be trainings that meet the IACP Minimum Standards for trainings delivered by trainers who meet the IACP Minimum Standards for Collaborative Trainers.

Read more →

Cordover Presents at Israeli Collaborative Divorce Training

July 30, 2020/in Collaborative Divorce, Training //Tags: collaborative divorce trainingby Adam

Last week, I had the opportunity to present at an Israeli Introductory Interdisciplinary Collaborative Divorce Training. I was invited by Idith Schaham, a friend and trainer who taught at the first Hebrew-language Introductory Collaborative Divorce Training and a co-founder of many Collaborative Law Community Centers in Israel.

I presented alongside my Tampa Bay Collaborative Trainer colleague, Jeremy Gaies, Psy.D., with whom I traveled to Israel in December 2018 to discuss Collaborative Practice with fellow professionals.

My presentation focused on “Preparing the Client for Team Meetings.” Below you will find slides from the presentation, along with some explanation.

Introduction

The presentation started with my introduction.

This slide translates as follows:

Attorney Adam Cordover

Board Member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP).

Co-author of an American Bar Association (ABA) book on “Building A Successful Collaborative Family Law Practice.”

Former President of Next Generation Divorce.

Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Law Mediator.