Collaborative Divorce Control Your Own Destiny - Family Diplomacy | A Collaborative Law Firm

Collaborative Divorce: Control Your Own Destiny

When you’re facing the difficult decision to divorce, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. And when you are used to making high stakes decisions, the feeling of powerlessness is just unacceptable. Decisions about your family, finances, and future carry immense weight. The last thing you want is to surrender control of your destiny to a judge in a public courtroom. That’s why many C-Suite executives, doctors, business owners, high-ranking military officers, and other professionals in Florida choose Collaborative Divorce.

What Is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce is a unique and private approach to family law that puts you and your spouse in charge. Instead of battling it out in court, you work together with a team of professionals to craft agreed upon solutions tailored to your family’s needs. Each of you have your own separate lawyers to provide you with independent legal advice.  The Collaborative Lawyers are there solely for the purpose of reaching an out-of-court agreement, and are prohibited, once the Collaborative Process begins, from being used to fight in court.  Additionally, your Collaborative Team may include a financial expert to navigate tricky financial discussions and a Facilitator (who is a licensed mental health professional) to keep discussion focused on the future rather than the disputes that led to the divorce.

Maintain Control Over Critical Decisions

Unlike traditional litigation, Collaborative Divorce fosters cooperation rather than conflict. You, your spouse, and your lawyers share the same goal: to find resolutions that work for everyone in your family. This approach gives you the power to decide how to divide assets, plan for your children’s future, and address any other issues that arise. Instead of a judge dictating your future, you together with your spouse maintain control over these critical decisions.

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Cordover Appears on Great Practice Great Life Podcast

Earlier this week, I had the pleasure of being featured on Episode 114 of the podcast Great Practice, Great Life, where I shared insights into my journey as an international thought leader in Collaborative Divorce and my efforts to revolutionize out-of-court dispute resolution through my law firm, where we virtually represent clients throughout the State of Florida and also have offices in Tampa, St. Petersburg, and Sarasota. This conversation gave me the chance to reflect on some of the key moments and principles that have shaped both my professional and personal life.

Great Practice Great Life Cordover Riley - Family Diplomacy | A Collaborative Law FirmOne of the topics we discussed was the profound impact of Hurricane Helene in 2024, when, like many others, I lost my home from the flood surge. In the aftermath of that challenging time, I found an opportunity to reassess my approach to work and life, leaning into gratitude. The hurricane, like so many challenges we face, served as a catalyst for growth and transformation. My story highlights how adversity can push us to innovate and strengthen our resolve.

 

We also dove into the unique world of Collaborative Divorce, an area of practice I’m deeply passionate about. This process brings together attorneys, mental health professionals, and financial experts to help families resolve disputes amicably, privately, and outside the courtroom. It’s a particularly valuable approach for professionals, doctors, executives, members of the LGBTQ+ community, business owners, politicians, celebrities, professional athletes, and others who place a premium on privacy and self-determination. In the podcast, I emphasized the importance of teamwork and how shifting from a competitive to a collaborative mindset can lead to more fulfilling and effective outcomes for everyone involved.

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Simplifying Divorce for High Net Worth Individuals: Working With Your CPA or Financial Advisor

The Challenge of Divorce for High Net Worth Individuals

Navigating a divorce is never easy, and for high net worth individuals, the process can feel even more overwhelming. Between managing the complexities of Florida Family Law Rule of Procedure 12.285—commonly known as mandatory disclosure—and safeguarding your financial future, it’s natural to want to simplify the experience and delegate much of the work. That’s where a skilled family law attorney can be invaluable. By working closely with your CPA or financial advisor, we can streamline the disclosure process and minimize the demands on your time and energy.

Understanding Mandatory Disclosure

Mandatory disclosure requires each party in a divorce to provide detailed financial documentation. For high net worth individuals, this often includes extensive information about investments, business interests, real estate holdings, and more. The sheer volume of documentation can be daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. If you already have a trusted CPA or financial advisor, they are likely familiar with much of your financial landscape. Our team can work directly with them to gather and organize the required information, so you don’t have to get bogged down in the details.

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5 Tips for Dividing Mutual Funds and ETFs In a Florida Divorce

Dividing mutual funds and exchange-traded funds (ETFs) during a divorce can be tricky, but it doesn’t have to be stressful. If you’re divorcing in Florida, these five tips will help you navigate the process, protect your interests, and work toward a fair resolution.

1. Consider Your Short-, Medium-, and Long-Term Financial Interests

Before you even think about dividing assets, you should take the time to consider and write down your short-term, medium-term, and long-term interests.  For example, are there investment opportunities now where liquidity is important?  Or do you wish to build on the relative stability of a buy-and-hold strategy?  Do you have an employment-based retirement or profit-sharing plan where it will be easier to save for the future?  Or do you need to keep more of the family’s tax-advantaged accounts to secure your long-term plan?  Do you prefer the control of a defined contribution plan or the consistency of a defined benefit plan? Working with a Collaborative Facilitator and Neutral Financial Professional during divorce can help you identify your interests and adjust your strategy to ensure it aligns with your new circumstances.

2. Understand Florida’s Equitable Distribution Law

Florida follows the law of equitable distribution. This means marital property, including mutual funds and ETFs acquired during the marriage, is divided fairly, though not always equally. Yes, both spouses usually end up with approximately 50% of your family’s net estate, but you can agree to divide it however you wish.  Many spouses mistakenly believe that this means that every asset and every account has to be split in half, but that is not the case.  So long as both of you end up with approximately 50% of your net estate, with adjustments particular to your circumstances, you do not have to split every brokerage or bank account in half.

You can begin by gathering detailed statements for all your investment and other accounts. Identify which assets are marital (shared) and which are separate (this is a complicated area of the law, and an experienced family lawyer can help you do this; you can read more about asset protection here). This will help you understand what’s on the table for division.

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Asset Protection Divorce Florida - Family Diplomacy | A Collaborative Law Firm

Asset Protection and Florida Divorce

If you are facing divorce in Florida and have accumulated substantial assets, you may be wondering what asset protection strategies are available. Fortunately, there are some steps to consider, both before and during divorce. Florida is an equitable distribution state, meaning the law divides marital assets fairly, though not necessarily equally. Below are some methods to explore (please note that this is just an overview, and you should speak with a lawyer to determine if these apply to your situation and how to employ them):

Asset Protection Before Divorce

Prenuptial or Postnuptial Agreements.

A prenuptial agreement is signed before a marriage, and a postnuptial agreement is signed during a marriage. Both can be legally binding agreements that essentially allow you to make your own law and specify how assets will be divided and spousal support will be handled in case of divorce. These agreements must be entered into voluntarily, with full disclosure of assets, and include other elements that can help ensure that it holds up if challenged.

You can learn more about prenuptial and postnuptial agreements here.

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Protecting Your Florida LGBTQ+ Family

If you or a member of your family identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or otherwise (LGBTQ+), you are likely feeling under siege from the rhetoric and actions of Florida and national politicians.  You may be wondering what you can do to protect your family’s rights.  This blog discusses steps that you can take to shore up your Florida LGBTQ+ family law rights.

Adopting Your Children

If you are in a same-sex relationship and have children with your partner/spouse, and if you are not a biological parent, you need to adopt your children.  This recommendation surprises a lot of families.  But I have seen heart-breaking situations where a couple splits up, the non-biological parent is denied recognition of their parenthood, and all contact is cut off between that parent and the children until the children are adults.

Even if your children were born during your marriage, if you are a non-biological parent, you should adopt.  Though there is a presumption that a child born during an intact marriage is the legal child of both parents, the likely applicable statute still uses language that only recognizes straight parents.  Section 742.11, Florida Statutes, states the following:

(1) Except in the case of gestational surrogacy, any child born within wedlock who has been conceived by the means of artificial or in vitro insemination is irrebuttably presumed to be the child of the husband and wife, provided that both husband and wife have consented in writing to the artificial or in vitro insemination.
(2) Except in the case of gestational surrogacy, any child born within wedlock who has been conceived by means of donated eggs or preembryos shall be irrebuttably presumed to be the child of the recipient gestating woman and her husband, provided that both parties have consented in writing to the use of donated eggs or preembryos.

When gestational surrogacy is utilized, section 742.13, Florida Statutes, still defines a “commissioning couple” as “the intended mother and father of a child who will be conceived…”

Because case law and legal presumptions can change, and because same-sex parents who utilize artificial insemination, in vitro fertilization, and other methods have not had their rights codified by statute, I urge you to look into adopting your children.

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8 Tips For Co-Parenting After a Hurricane

Co-parenting during a divorce is challenging under normal circumstances, and dealing with the aftermath of a devastating hurricane adds another layer of difficulty. Here are some practical tips to navigate this situation effectively.  As a preview, many of these tips can be best accomplished within a Collaborative Divorce.

1. Prioritize the Children’s Well-Being

Keep routines as consistent as possible, such as school, meals, and bedtime, to provide stability.  Be honest with your children in an age-appropriate way about what’s happening but reassure them they are safe and loved.  Avoid speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the children.

2. Communicate Effectively

Use clear, respectful, and focused communication to coordinate on parenting issues.  Consider using co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents to document agreements and streamline communication if direct interaction is too challenging.

3. Develop a Flexible Parenting Plan

A hurricane might have disrupted your previous arrangements, so work together to create a temporary plan that accounts for housing, transportation, and other logistical challenges.  Be prepared to adjust custody schedules based on access to safe housing and resources.

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Video: Cordover Keynotes Family Law Now Virtual Summit

Family Diplomacy managing attorney Adam B. Cordover recently gave the keynote address at the Third Annual Family Law Now Virtual Summit. The aim of the Summit is to provide legal professionals and those individuals facing separation, divorce, and other family law matters with vital information, strategies, and tools to support them as they navigate through the process.  The Summit was hosted by veteran Canadian lawyer Russell Alexander and benefitted The Denise House, which provides a safe shelter and supportive programs in Canada for women, with or without children, experiencing gender-based violence.

Examining Models of Collaborative Practice

The topic of the keynote address was “All the Ways to Collaborate: Examining Different Models of Collaborative Practice.”  In the keynote, Cordover urged lawyers to tailor the Collaborative Process to meet the needs of their family law clients.

You can view a video of the keynote, which is about 20 minutes long, below.

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Saint Petersburg Adult Adoption Lawyer Review: “Thorough, Professional, And A Pleasure to Work With!”

We care about our clients, and we find it especially heartwarming when a client takes the time to let others know about our services.

A recent adult adoption client left a review of our work on our St. Petersburg Family Law Firm Google Page.

St. Petersburg Adult Adoption Lawyer Review

Adam and Jennifer were fantastic. I adopted a longtime friend to be a part of my family and with their help the whole process was very simple. Adam and Jennifer took care of everything right up to and now after the Final Judgement hearing. I would highly recommend Family Diplomacy as they are very through, professional and a pleasure to work with!

Now, we cannot guarantee the same or similar results for you or your family as every case is different.  However, if you would like to learn more about adult adoption, stepparent adoption, grandparent adoption, close relative adoption, second parent adoption, and/or LGBTQ+ adoption, we welcome you to reach out to us and find out more.  We represent clients throughout the State of Florida, and we also have offices in Tampa, St. Petersburg, and Sarasota.

Financial Education Books Divorce Florida - Family Diplomacy | A Collaborative Law Firm

Financial Education Books For Spouses Going Through Divorce

It is common when going through divorce in Florida or elsewhere for one or both spouses to be lost when it comes to finances and retirement planning.  One of the best things that you can do to make divorce less traumatic and to help ensure that you and your spouse’s interests are being met is to involve a Neutral Financial Professional within a Collaborative Divorce process.

It is also important to educate yourself when it comes to finances.  Below are a list of books that I have personally found helpful to educate myself.  Even if you are not going through divorce, you may get something from these resources.

The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

If you have medical school student loans, a high interest mortgage or home equity lines of credit, or other forms of large debt, and you just don’t know how you could possibly pay it off in any reasonable amount of time, Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover is for you.  As someone who went to a very expensive law school and incurred six figures in educational debt, I found this book immensely helpful.  I am a big believer in the Financial Independence (sometimes also called Financial Independence Retire Early, or “FIRE”) movement; so many influencers who have put themselves on the path to FIRE have mentioned that they started off by getting out of debt after reading this book.

The Simple Path to Wealth by J.L. Collins

J.L. Collins’ The Simple Path to Wealth is the book I wish I read when I was just starting my career.  His main message is that investing does not need to be complex, the stock market will crash but it will also rebound and grow, and that you can build significant wealth over time by simply investing in a total U.S. stock market index fund and maybe also a total U.S. bond index fund (depending on your age and risk tolerance).  J.L. Collins is known as the Godfather of FIRE, and he tells audiences that you can actually find most of the ideas in the book for free in their raw form in his blog’s Stock Series.  I have found both the book and Stock Series helpful to explain the markets and prevent me from selling my portfolio when the market has crashed.  Further, the Stock Series, which Collins updates regularly, does a good job at explaining many of the types of investment vehicles that get addressed in divorce, such as brokerage accounts, traditional and Roth 401(k)s, traditional and Roth IRAs, 403(b)s, and TSPs.  Beyond educating yourself, The Simple Path to Wealth may be a great book to provide as a gift to your young adult children as the content started as a letter to J.L. Collins’ daughter, explaining to someone who didn’t want to think about investing how they could build wealth without giving it much thought.

I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi

Admittedly, the title is kind of cringeworthy, but I found the content in Ramit Sethi’s I Will Teach You to Be Rich to be helpful nonetheless.  He provides very practical advice on everything from lowering interest rates you pay on credit cards, to opening high yield savings accounts, to automating saving and investing.  He also believes strongly that you don’t need to live like a hermit to build wealth, and that it is important to mindfully spend money on those things that bring you happiness.

Atomic Habits by James Clear

James Clear’s Atomic Habits explores the science of habit formation and how small, incremental changes can lead you to significant improvements over time.  Clear stresses that consistent, tiny improvements—what he calls “atomic habits”—can compound over time, leading to profound personal and professional transformations.  His concepts mesh pretty well with the books discussed above, especially when he addresses the power of compound interest to transform small, consistent investments over a long period of time to vast amounts of wealth.  Besides becoming financially healthier, this book helped me become physically healthier, as well, by influencing me to make small, consistent changes in my diet and exercise, leading to the shedding of 30+ pounds over the course of eighteen months.

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