A Story of Second Parent Adoption

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An article from The Guardian tells the tale of two lesbian partners who went through a second parent adoption:

Related:  Five Legal Steps Florida LGBT Parents Should Take

When Patricia Moreno was pregnant with her first child, she went through the usual existential doubts about how life as a new mother would be. Moreno, a life coach and fitness trainer from New York, had been trying to get pregnant for well over a year. She had been through multiple rounds of IVF and suffered a miscarriage. When she did get pregnant, in December 2009, she and her partner, Kellen Mori, were over the moon, and then they started thinking.

The couple’s marriage was not valid outside the US or in many of the more conservative states; the baby, conceived by IVF using Mori’s eggs and donor sperm, would not be recognised federally as belonging to both of them. (Moreno, giving birth, would be recognised as the biological mother. Mori, who had provided the eggs, would have no automatic universal rights.) “I’m not the mum, but I am the mum,” thought Moreno and wondered idly who the baby would identify with more. As well as a good obstetrician, she and her wife of three years would be needing a lawyer.

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IACP Survey: Collaborative Process From the Clients’ Perspective

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Introduction to IACP Client Survey

The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (“IACP”) has been conducting a survey which studies clients’ experiences with collaborative divorce and collaborative family law in general.  Collaborative divorce is a process by which parties, instead of going to court to litigate, agree to a private framework that lends itself to developing more creative options for financial, child custody, and other family issues.  Most times, a neutral mental health professional/communication coach and a neutral financial professional are engaged to facilitate the process.

These findings were compiled in the Spring 2012 edition of The Collaborative Review: The Journal of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (“What Clients Say About Their Experience in the Collaborative Process” by Linda Wray, J.D.).

About the Surveyed Collaborative Clients

Ninety-eight participants of the collaborative process responded to the survey between 2007 to 2010.  The participants were split pretty evenly between men and women.  The majority of respondents were between the ages of 40-59, were married for 16 years or more, and used the process in dissolving their first marriage.  The majority of respondents had children.  Most respondents had unsuccessfully attempted marital or couples counseling prior to engaging in the collaborative process.

Ninety percent (90%) of those surveyed settled their case via the collaborative process.

Satisfaction with the Collaborative Process and Its Outcome

Clients were asked their level of satisfaction on a variety of issues surrounding the outcome of their cases, including issues relating to their relationship with their children, relationship with their former spouse, co-parenting matters, development of post-divorce communication and parenting skills, and the terms of their settlement.  About three-quarters of clients were extremely or somewhat satisfied to the general outcome of their case, compared to 13% who were extremely or somewhat dissatisfied.

Clients were most satisfied with the outcome of the collaborative process on issues dealing with their children.  Clients felt that the interests and emotional well-being of their children were served well in the process.  Clients were also satisfied with their improved co-parenting skills.

Clients responded that they were somewhat satisfied to extremely satisfied with the following features of their collaborative process:

  • Meetings scheduled to accommodate clients’ schedules (as opposed to hearings accommodating the Court’s schedule);
  • Respectfulness of the collaborative process;
  • How free clients felt to express themselves in their case; and
  • The opportunity to address concerns directly with the other participant (as opposed to communicating solely through attorneys, mediators, or court motions).

Legislative Update: Summary of Changes to Florida’s Adoption Laws

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Logo of Florida House of RepresentativesMany bills relating to family law were proposed this past legislative session.  Many, if not most, of the bills died, while some, including House Bill 1163, passed both houses and were signed into law by Governor Scott.  House Bill 1163 (now Chapter 2012-81 of the Laws of Florida) made the following changes to Florida’s adoption laws (as summarized by the Florida Senate Committee on Children, Family, and Elder Affairs):

  • Requires that a petition for termination of parental rights contain facts supporting the allegation that the parents of the child is informed of the availability of private placement of the child with an adoption entity;
  • Removes legislative intent that all placements of minors for adoption be reported to the Department of Children and Family Services (DCF or department);
  • Amends certain definitions in ch. 63, F.S.;
  • Exempts adoption proceedings which were initiated under ch. 39, F.S., from the requirement to search the Florida Putative Father Registry if the search was previously completed;
  • Requires the use of an adoption entity for all adoptions of minor children, unless the adoption is by a relative or stepparent;

Disparaging The Other Parent Hurts Your Child And Your Florida Child Custody Case

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Rosalind Sedacca, a divorce and parenting coach and author, writes about why parents should not bash one another in front of their children:

When you put down their other parent, your children are likely to interpret it as a put-down of part of them. When both parents are guilty of this behavior, it can create a great confusion along with a sense of unworthiness and low self-esteem. “Something’s wrong with me” becomes the child’s unconscious belief.

***

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Team Cordover Runs the Hillsborough County Bar Association’s Race to the Courthouse

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On March 24, 2012, I was joined by friends and family to run Hillsborough County Bar Association’s Race to the Courthouse 5K as “Team Cordover.”  The race began at Stetson University’s Tampa campus and benefitted pro bono services throughout Hillsborough County.

Team Cordover at the HCBA 5K Race

Front Row, L to R:  Jake Biller, Marcy Biller, Jamie Gomez, Kasey Biller, Laurie Strauss, Jenn Ryerson, and Mike Biller

Back Row, L to R:  T.J. Reese, George Melendez, Adam B. Cordover, Troy Finney, Nikki Finney, and Jacob Finney

I am especially proud of T.J. Reese, Jake Biller, and Jacob Finney.  These Team Cordover members swept the category of males age 15-19, placing in first, second, and third place, respectively.

L to R:   Jake Biller, T.J. Reese, and Jacob Finney

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Appellate Judges Discuss Collaborative Divorce in Meeting of Hillsborough and Pinellas Family Law Attorneys and Judges

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I recently had the opportunity to attend a joint meeting of the Tampa Bay Family Law Inn of Court and Pinellas County’s Canakaris Inn of Court.  The guest speakers were three judges from Florida’s Second District Court of Appeals:  Chris Altenbernd, Edward C. LaRose, and Robert Morris.  I had the opportunity to discuss collaborative divorce with the appellate judges.  The following excerpt of a Collaborative Divorce Institute of Tampa Bay article describes a portion of the meeting and my discussions:

 Judge Chris Altenbernd (who served as chief judge from 2003-2005) observed that, by the time divorce and paternity cases reach the appellate level, both parties have almost invariably already lost:

“You have families that are being torn apart, and the parties are arguing often for the sake of arguing, not putting children’s issues and the families’ financial future first.”

Judges Edward C. LaRose and Robert Morris agreed.

The Second D.C.A.'s Judge Chris Altenbernd and CDITB Membership Chair Adam B. Cordover Discuss Collaborative Divorce (April 4, 2012)

The Second D.C.A.’s Judge Chris Altenbernd and CDITB Membership Chair Adam B. Cordover Discuss Collaborative Divorce (April 4, 2012)

Judge LaRose then asked the attorneys in the audience whether collaborative practice was being utilized in Pinellas and Hillsborough counties. Collaborative Divorce Institute of Tampa Bay membership chair Adam B. Cordover answered their question. “The practice of collaborative family law is growing in Tampa Bay. Last year, the Collaborative Divorce Institute of Tampa Bay provided training to instruct more attorneys, mental health professionals, and financial experts on how to handle collaborative divorce cases in a way that is private, individually-tailored, respectful, and takes into account the best interests of any children involved.  In short, we collaborative professionals are carrying out the ideal of ‘therapeutic jurisprudence.’”

Judge Altenbernd later relayed to Mr. Cordover that he supports the collaborative process, especially in divorce cases where issues of child custody and parenting plans are involved.  ”I just think more people need to seriously consider the family-focused process of collaborative divorce rather than fight it out in the court system.”

Attorney Adam B. Cordover has completed advanced training in interdisciplinary collaborative family law.  He is on the Board of the Collaborative Divorce Institute of Tampa Bay and is a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.

If you have questions regarding collaborative divorce and you wish to speak with a Tampa Bay collaborative attorney, contact The Law Firm of Adam B. Cordover, P.A., at (813) 443-0615 or by completing our online form.

This is Why Florida is a “No Fault” Divorce State

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Florida is a “No Fault” divorce state.  This means that parties do not have to accuse one another of doing harm to the marriage, such as by committing adultery or domestic violence, for a judge to grant a dissolution of marriage.  Rather, a party merely needs to allege that the marriage is “irretrievably broken.”

The usual test that a Tampa Bay judge gives to determine whether the marriage is irretrievably broken is to ask the question, “Would therapy or counseling help repair the marriage?”  If either party states that counseling would not help, a final decree of divorce will likely be granted.

As it turns out, England is not a “No Fault” divorce jurisdiction.  The New York Times reports that, since English parties must give reasons for seeking divorce, the court record is filled with highly personal, and sometimes downright wacky, divorce allegations.  Below are some of those allegations:

  • A husband insisted that his wife dress in a Klingon costume and speak to him in Klingon;
  • A wife maliciously and repeatedly served her husband the food he least liked: tuna casserole;
  • A wife spitefully tampered with her husband’s television antenna and, even worse, threw away his cold cuts; Read more →

Tax Issues for Divorcing Spouses to Look Into

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Mandi Woodruff at the Business Insider provides the following tips for divorcing spouses:

Procrastinating. If you’re newly divorced and haven’t filed taxes as you read this article, you might want to get a move on it. First of all, there’s no telling how willing your ex will be to fork over his or her tax records, which could throw a major roadblock in your way. And if you’re relying on a CPA or tax preparer to play mediator, chances are high they’ll be too swamped this late in the season to field your last-minute questions.

Setting yourself up for liability by filing jointly. Every couple has to decide whether to file as married (joint) or married (filing separately) after a divorce. There’s a big difference here, which is that filing jointly means you’re on the hook if your ex winds up in tax trouble. “You’re liable for everything on the tax return even if it’s related to your spouse,” Mindel says.

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TMH v. DMT: Florida Appellate Court Recognizes Parental Rights of Both Lesbian Mothers in Case of Fertilized Egg Transplant

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Here’s the story:  Two women are in a committed lesbian relationship when they decide to have a child together using reproductive technologies.  One woman (the “Genetic Mother”) supplies the egg and has it fertilized.  That egg is then implanted into her partner (the “Birth Mother”) who gives birth in 2004.

Related:  Five Legal Steps Florida LGBT Parents Should Take

[Related:  In A Florida Child Custody Case, Does It Matter That I Am Gay?]

[Related:  In Which County Should I File My Florida Adoption Case?]

The child is given a hyphenated last name, combining the names of the Birth Mother and Genetic Mother.  Birth announcements are sent out, proclaiming both partners to be mothers of the child.  The partners reside with one another and the child in Florida, and they all live happily ever after.

Until 2006, when the Birth Mother and Genetic Mother break up.

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Does Florida Have A Waiting Period For Divorce?

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Oftentimes when potential clients come into my office for a consultation, I get asked the following question:  “Does Florida have a waiting period for divorce?”

In fact, Florida does have a waiting period.

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