COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE AND FAMILY LAW IN FLORIDA. No matter how you look at it, divorce and family law matters are difficult to go through. Expectations of stability are shattered,
mistrust grows, and bills pile up. And then the litigation begins. Attorneys file and serve petitions, counterpetitions, requests to produce, and motions to compel. Each party hires dueling mental health experts to convince a judge that he or she should have more time with the children. Privacy is eliminated as each party’s life is probed and publicly questioned so that one side may gain a tactical advantage.
But there is a different way. A more civilized way. And it is called Collaborative Family Law (also known as Collaborative Divorce or Collaborative Practice).
We are a Collaborative law firm dedicated to helping people resolve personal disputes without destroying their families. We encourage the use of the Collaborative Family Law model in divorce, child custody, child support, alimony, post-judgment, prenuptial, and most other family law cases. Further, Adam B. Cordover is an internationally-recognized leader in Collaborative Practice, a trainer who teaches other professionals how to help families Collaboratively, and author of an upcoming American Bar Association book on Collaborative Law.
Have you had friends or family members who have gone through a War of the Roses divorce? These are divorces where each spouse hires a “pit bull” attorney, they both engage in a scorched earth strategy, and they try to win at all costs, even as both of them tend to lose.
If you do know people who have experienced this, you have probably wondered whether divorce needs to be this way. Is there an alternative? Is there a friendly divorce?
A collaborative practice group out of North Carolina called Separating Together has put together an excellent video that emphasizes that divorce is not only a legal process, but it is also an emotional, logistical, and financial process.
You can see the video below:
We see it in the news and magazines all of the time. Publicly available divorce documents accuse a celebrity of secretly supporting a child born out of wedlock. Sports figures’ assets and judgment become public spectacles. Politicians and their spouses lob accusations at each other for all to see. Businessmen’s private details and dirty laundry end up as front page stories.
Fortunately, your divorce does not need to be in the public eye.
I strongly believe that the vast majority of Tampa Bay spouses who are considering divorce would be best served by engaging in the collaborative divorce process, where attorneys are used as problem-solvers rather than gunslingers. Decisions such as where children will sleep at night are made by parents rather than judges, and interactions between the parents are private and confidential rather than public and discoverable by their children in the future.
And yet, I would be remiss if I were to not underscore that there are potential disadvantages to the collaborative divorce process. In fact, in 2009, the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, Collaborative Law Committee Informed Consent Subcomittee published its draft Suggested Protocols to Obtain Clients’ Informed Consent to Use a Collaborative Process.
From the Suggested Protocols, families who are considering the collaborative process should know the following:
Here in Tampa Bay and around the world, collaborative practice is most frequently associated with divorce and other family law matters, as a non-adversarial method to resolve disputes. And yet, the collaborative process has been and is being used in many different legal matters, including in the area of medical malpractice.
Many times patients and their families simply want to know what happened when there has been an injury or fatality at a medical facility, and yet doctors feel hamstrung as they are afraid that any discussion will be utilized against them as an expression of culpability. The collaborative process provides a safe space for direct and confidential dialogue, and it also allows hospitals to be more open in examining incidents and figuring out how to avoid error in the future.
Below is a video from a pilot program, the Integrated Accountability and Collaborative Transparency (IACT) Program from North Carolina: Read more →
Collaborative divorce is a relatively new concept in Tampa. It is counterintuitive to think that attorneys would promote a concept that keeps divorcing spouses out of court. Further, who would think that attorneys would be willing to take a step back, and allow (i) mental health professionals to take the lead in emotional divorce discussions and (ii) financial professionals to be the point people on the division of assets and debts and other support topics.
And, yet, that is what collaborative lawyers do.
Collaborative practice is growing around the world, including in Brazil. Below is a video in Portuguese that discusses collaborative divorce in Brazil:
Stu Webb is an attorney from Minnesota who one day decided that he no longer wanted to be involved in the destruction of divorce court, and so he created collaborative divorce. Collaborative divorce is a private process where spouses become teammates rather than opposing parties, and attorneys focus on problem-solving rather than fighting.
Oftentimes accountants, psychologists, financial planners, therapists, and others are used to make sure that not just the legal needs, but also the emotional and financial needs of the spouses are met.
Collaborative Divorce has become more common here in Tampa Bay as families and attorneys realize that the court system should be seen as a forum of last resort, rather than first resort, to resolve personal issues.
Now, as it turns out, Stu Webb is not only the founder of collaborative divorce, but he is also an avid fan of Jazz. You can find a short video he helped create comparing collaborative divorce to jazz after the jump.
Tampa Collaborative Family Law Attorney Adam B. Cordover was a guest speaker at Nova Southeastern University’s 3-Day Collaborative Training, held November 6-8. Adam spoke on the topic of “Troubleshooting the Collaborative Divorce Roadmap.”
Attorneys, Mental Health Professionals, and Financial Professionals attended the training, though there was also a large contingent of mental health students. This conference was meant to kick start a groundbreaking program/clinic where the students would team up with professionals and offer collaborative divorce services to veterans.
I recently had the opportunity to appear on Money Talk 1010 AM on the “Let’s Talk Law” Radio Program.
I was joined by Pasco and Pinellas family law attorney Audrey Jefferis, and we discussed, among other things, the similarities and differences between mediation divorce and collaborative divorce. The radio program, which you can listen to after the jump, was recorded in the St. Petersburg studios of Beasely Broadcasting.
I recently attended the 16th Annual Forum of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, and I had the opportunity to attend a workshop led by Gary Direnfeld, a social worker and collaborative professional in Ontario, Canada. He was an excellent speaker and was discussing cutting edge ideas on helping families.
Gary was recently on a radio program to discuss an age-old question: Can therapy help save a marriage?
