World of Collaborative Practice: A Father Discusses His Collaborative Divorce

The World of Collaborative Practice Magazine is an online forum for collaborative professionals to write about news as well as the latest trends in collaborative practice.  On September 15, 2016, the Magazine published the transcript of an iHeart radio interview from here in Tampa of a father discussing his collaborative divorce.  The father, “Claire,” appeared with his collaborative attorney Julia Best Chase, along with Family Diplomacy managing attorney Adam B. Cordover, who represented Clair’s wife.

You can find a portion of the article reproduced after the jump.

Corey: The perception is that men often get short-changed in any divorce.  Literally or figuratively, with custody primarily going to women, and maybe the bulk of their estate going to women.  Maybe is this a more fair process?  What would you say about that, Clair?  Did you feel it was more fair?

Clair:  It was.  My ex and I came up with our agreements.  And, actually, before I spoke with Julia, I spoke with two other attorneys.  And they did not offer or talk about collaborative divorce as an option.  They were not part of the collaborative divorce process.  And they wouldn’t even look me in the eye.

Corey: Really?

Clair: Oh, yeah.  Julia was the only attorney I interviewed who was very compassionate, and the whole process, including Adam, was compassionate.  And that’s important because divorce is tough.  But I’m glad we utilized the collaborative process, and I’ve recommended others use this process. I’ve recommended both of the attorneys here [Julia and Adam] because of the way they handled the situation.

***

Corey:  Clair, can you tell us what kind of individuals were involved in your divorce?  I think you mentioned earlier that there was a financial professional who helped you navigate the next phase of your life.

Clair:  Yes.  The financial professional [Marie-Eve Girard] helped divide everything equally and fairly.  Having that in mind, it eased things a lot, especially with the kids in mind.  The facilitator [Rachel Moskowitz] was great to talk to.  She gave us great advice.  Divorce is an emotional thing. 

Corey:  I’m sure it is difficult to make decisions when you are dealing with highly emotional issues.

Clair: Yeah.  And, you know, I’ve been in combat.  I’ve been shot at.  I’ve been stabbed.  And I can handle a lot.  But this was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life.  But, considering the options, it was much better than it could have been.  Like I said, I’ve recommended collaborative divorce to several other people.  

***

Adam: The interesting thing is that in trial divorce, generally people are truly going through a full-throated litigation where people are fighting in court.  When people get divorced, that is usually just the beginning.  There can be years and years of fighting afterwards.  In the collaborative process, generally the outcome is you reach an agreement in a way in which you are getting along with one another.  Clair, I see you nodding your head.

Clair: Yes.  We seem to be getting along a lot better now because we have somewhat of structure, a tailored parenting plan, that we go by…The kids look forward to going back and forth.  They’re getting to the point where it is not such a big deal.

If you have questions about how collaborative divorce can be a better alternative for your family, schedule a consultation with Adam B. Cordover at (813) 443-0615 or CLICK HERE to fill out our contact form.

Adam B. Cordover is a co-author of an upcoming American Bar Association Book on Building a Successful Collaborative Law Practice.  Adam is former president of Next Generation Divorce, growing it to become Florida’s largest collaborative practice group, and a member of the Research Committee of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.